I am a collage of you - you make up parts of me

From www.wikipedia.com
Collage: an assemblage of different forms, thus creating a new whole. The term collage derives from the French "coller" meaning "glue".


The idea that you make up parts of me has been floating around in my brain for a few days - I even started thinking about how there's truth to that in the literal sense. Quantum physics tells us we are part of each other at a molecular level - we all share energy.

Sara F. must have "heard" my brain working because I got an email from her today explaining how she connected with one of my blogs. That email made me laugh because it reminded me of this topic again.

Sara has been in my life since junior high. She's been brave enough to challenge and confront me, but she's done it in a way that I've always felt fiercely supported. So many things would be different if she wasn't part of me.


Then there's Amanda V. She gives me an entirely new world view - a view that I would never come to on my own - about fun, responsibility, blooming, friendship. So many things would be different if she wasn't part of me.

Heather S. She allows me to be me. Unjudged. So many things would be different if she wasn't part of me.

Oh, then there's Dave S. I sometimes think Dave is talking about someone else when he talks about me but then he presents data because he knows that I'd be swayed by data in any other situation and I'm forced to admit he's right. So many things would be different if he wasn't part of me.


Tracy M.- in & out of my life, but yet always there and certain to be a piece of the puzzle in the future. So many things would be different if she wasn't part of me.

9/22 - I had to edit this and add Mark. Mark has given me the brother I never had. He's an unlikely friend, a consistent presence of humor, pondering and connection (picking up where we left off). So many things would be different if he wasn't part of me.


And now I'm overwhelmed because I could keep going and going, listing people. It makes me think of Missy's website www.50letters.com. (Missy is also part of me - she's shown me that sometimes you have to just jump)

There's all the likely sources, my parents, my sister, my kids and so on but then there's the unlikely sources.......it's surprising how they can end up being important to who I am.

• There's the person that smiled at me in the grocery store and reminded me that we have a choice to walk through life disengaged or disarmed.
• There's Jeff F. - a hallway conversation about my belief that people are "dots" in my life that will be connected at the end to make the picture of my life - he pointed out that my "dots" should be pixels.
• There's my fellow passenger on the plane last week, who summed up our conversation by saying, "It's nice to hear your story because it's a reminder that we are all just in different parts of our lives and it's ok to make mistakes."
• There's Fred B, who I've never met, but taught me what a facilitator was.

It only takes one moment to change me.

Listen to what Virgina Satir  says about the importance about our interactions with each other. Give it 3 min 45 seconds & ignore the cheesy voice & the fact that she's talking about therapists. We're all therapists, teachers, facilitators. (Thank you, Michele K.- whose facebook posts continually remind and teach me.)
 
There have been people that have been toxic and they have served to remind me that I can choose to believe in myself or I can be detoured by them.


There have been people that have been supportive and they have served to remind me that I can choose to believe in myself or I can be detoured by others.

(Then there's Tom M. who has reminded me that time in the lunch line is well spent. It's like "windshield time.")

baby steps......

I firmly believe in baby steps. (I don't know if you have the same experience, but every time I hear that phrase, I picture Bill Murray in "What About Bob?")

Baby steppin'.

It's the concept of breaking something into pieces - into manageable goals - not being overcome by an overwhelming goal......"chunking" it up.

It's also connected to the concept of perseverance for me. I can just baby step. I can make progress, even it it's small progress, with baby steps.

I know that eventually I'll get there or get it or do it. It's ok if it's not tomorrow but I KNOW that it will BE if I keep baby stepping towards it.

Face life as you find it - defiant and unafraid.

Mother Nature clearly stands proud, defiant and unafraid.

Follow her lead. Hold your head high, unwilling to cower, strong, proud.

Life has many milestones, some good, some bad, all creating you. Face them as you find Mother Nature - defiant and unafraid - willing to throw down.

Life is never what you expect it to be. Embrace it for what it IS.

I believe.......

Stumbled across this - I found the bolded statement posted in the copy room 5 years ago :


I believe our background & circumstances have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.
Only through knowingness can you become who you want to be.

I believe my friends & I can do anything or nothing & have the best time.
If you tune into the moment, you can find beauty and appreciation everywhere.

I believe we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.
Most of the time, you can choose how how you feel and how you show up.

I believe that no matter how good a friend is, they’re going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
Everyone is on a journey. Reach out your hand today because you might need one tomorrow.

I believe that you can keep going, long after you can’t.
You can even if you don't know it.

How did you get here?

I met Darrius on the plane a couple of Sundays ago. It was one of those moments where you're trying to decide, "Am I going to talk to this person? Should I just go to sleep? What if they talk my ear off about a really boring subject?" I chose to talk. Little did I know, I was choosing to be surprised.

We had a great conversation about religion and life philosophy and marriage and learning and realizations and kids and who we wanted to be and how we are.

And then Darrius stopped me in my tracks. He asked, "How did you get here? How did you get to the point where you believe the things you do? Did you read a book? Where do these things come from?" I didn't know the answer. I still don't know the answer. I'd like to know the answer. The only thing that I've come up with is people, moments, thinking, books, reflection, learning, feeling and guessing. Seems like I should have more details. There should be vivid pivotal moments that made me me. I'll have to keep pondering - maybe I'll ask for help from the people that were the witnesses.

But it's a question for all of us.......how did you get here?

Static: characterized by a lack of movement, animation, or progression

Have you ever found that when you look at things closely enough, the things that you thought were static are not really static at all?

The building across the street made me realize that. I thought it was just a building..........sitting there. BUT as the days passed and the time of day changed and the weather changed, I noticed the building changed. In the sun, it's bright white with reflection. In a rainstorm, it turns putty gray. In the morning, the doors open to do business. In the evening they close.

It made me wonder what other things are changing that I might be missing and not appreciating because I wasn't paying close enough attention. Me? Am I changing in ways I'm not realizing? Others? Are they changing in ways I'm not acknowledging? That building is further proof that there's value in tuning in......there are things you see that you would have passed right by.

Just a path........

I walked this path before.

In the crisp in-between of fall.
In the cold winter moonlight.
In the hints that are spring.
And now, in the fullness of summer.

The darling chirp steals my attention from the whisper of my steps through the grass.
Takes me to the vision of deer running in the night.
And the choosing of fresh blossoms, yellow and white.

Same place. Different time. Different me.

Simple, happy moments accumulate into a spectacular happy life.....

While I was recently chasing the Happy Cloud, I found myself admiring the green of the cornfield and contrasting it to the green of wild weeds - both we're beautiful and both made me smile. Greens.

A few moments later, I found myself asking whether it was ridiculous for Greens to make me smile. What a silly thing to smile about. There's nothing grandiose about the green of a field. It's not Important to the world. It's not Fashionable. It's not Intellectual. Michele, it's a cornfield!!

Fast forward a couple of days. Driving and the sky was beautiful. Blue. Damn it. Here's another simple thing; a simple moment making me smile.

Then I started to do math. One moment + one moment + one more moment + lots of other moments.........all those moments matter. They all add up to make a life and the more simple, happy moments you can find in your day will lead you to a spectacular happy life.

m

Happy Cloud

Yesterday, I was driving down the highway, admiring the green and I saw this happy cloud - a sole cloud in the sky. I told my daughter to look up.


She said, "Isn't it cute?" lol.

It WAS cute.....all by itself in the gorgeous blue sky. I wanted a picture, so took the next road and found myself in the country, on a road that seemed like it could have gone on forever. Imagine the the road stretched out in front of you, the sky bright blue, and surrounded by green corn fields......undulating.

I kept driving - saw horses, cows, black birds.......and then stopped. I told my daughter to listen - to the wind and the birds and the nothing. Look at THAT green & THAT one.

Then I was amazed that this unplanned 20 minutes on a country road gave me energy & made me smile.

Never did take a picture..........

What do you worry about?

Worrying is like hoping.

Stop worrying
Stop hoping
Do.
Be.

Living Poetically

I always thought that poets were people that write poems. From thefreedictionary.com:


Poet
1. A writer of poems.
2. One who is especially gifted in the perception and expression of the beautiful or lyrical

On Sunday, I realized that I am a poet, not because I write poems, but because I think I'm especially gifted in the perception of the beautiful or lyrical.

It stops me in my tracks, forcing me to pay attention. I see it everywhere and in almost everything and definitely in everyone. I even see beauty in ugliness. It makes me giddy, smile, gleeful and it makes me appreciate.

and it makes me want to share so that everyone can see it.

What's in your backpack?

Finally watched Up In The Air last night.

The moment that Ryan Bingham (George Clooney) talks about comparing your life to a backpack and that sometimes, in life, we fill our backpack with so much that we can't move.

We get stuck.

And that's how we live the rest of our lives.

When's the last time you dumped your backpack out? What people and things would you purposefully put back into it.

Last night

The storm arrived.
I watched as it snuck up.

It was exquisite indigo, the kind you could sink into.
It took its time. Willing to sit with itself.
Without an announcement.
Calm, but undeniably present.

It started with silence belying the lurking force.
The landscape hushed.
The birds grew louder in comparison.

Next came the soft pitter patter tip-toeing across the pond.
A harmless messenger.
Just a warning.

But then the sky unraveled.
An opening statement.
Declarative and beautiful.
Dancing light.
With idiosyncratic booming.
Unveiling.

The wind and rain swept in, erasing all previous notions of hesitancy or tentativeness.
Replaced by boastfulness, bravado, strength.
Unleashed.

Hello.

What else matters? bliss, blooming & knowingness

Just imagine having the combination of these three things:
being happy - knowing that what makes you happy should be making you happy - AND flourishing and shining

deep breath.

bliss: 1 : complete happiness 2 : paradise, heaven
 
knowingness: 1 : having or reflecting knowledge, information, or intelligence 2 a : shrewdly and keenly alert : astute b : indicating possession of exclusive inside knowledge or information 3 : cognitive 4 : deliberate

bloom :1 a : to produce or yield flowers b : to support abundant plant life 2 a (1) : to mature into achievement of one's potential (2) : to flourish in youthful beauty, freshness, or excellence b : to shine out : glow 3 : to appear or occur unexpectedly or in remarkable quantity or degree  4 : to become densely populated with microorganisms and especially plankton —used of bodies of water

Follow your bliss - a birthday wish

I have to share these words from a magnet given to me on my birthday.

• begin.
• attempt.
• expand.
• transform.
• imagine.
• create.
• vision.
• dream.

Yes.

Are you feeding YOU in the ways YOU need to be fed?

What are you doing right now?
What did you do today?
What are you doing tomorrow?

Dedicate some time to feeding YOU in the ways YOU need to be fed.
Unfiltered by shoulds, what are your wants? Start with the wants and then apply the shoulds. SPARINGLY.
Because they'll stomp all over the wants every time.

Don't think that you can keep neglecting parts of yourself.
There are no parts; there is only the whole.

It's about opportunity costs.....

The cost of an opportunity forgone (and the loss of the benefits that could be received from that opportunity); the most valuable forgone alternative.

Aren't we incurring opportunity costs every day of our lives? Every minute of our day? We're choosing how to spend our time and where to put our energy. We're forgoing other opportunities when we make our choices. How do you know if you're choosing correctly?

Create knowingness: figure out what you want you and your life to be.

• Do you know who and how you want to be?
• Do you know what things you want to have?
• Do you know what things you want to do?

 Once you have knowingness, the opportunity costs become easier to give up - only the items that help you get to YOU will get your resources.

C'mon - borrow mine

Hold your hands out.
I'll hand one over.

Or open your mouth and I'll take a spoon and make airplane noises and pop one into your mouth.

I'll send one next day FedEx. Open the package feverishly.

It's my savior in moments of despair. It forces me to put it into perspective.
It's my mechanism for turning good into exquisite.
It unleashes, expands.

Sense of humor.
Laughter.
A smile.

How much of the important parts of your life can you see?

msangie@jammdanceco.com  - this is for you....

Apparently I'm finding inspiration in song lately.
Sam Sparro - Black & Gold
"if vision is the only validation then most of my life isn't real"

So much of our life goes on in our heads and our hearts. There is nothing to see.
If you change one of those things, you change your reality.

It's simple. Right? It's simple.
You can just decide. It IS all invented.

But it's not always easy, is it? I'm laughing because I don't know how many times I've had this conversation, not just with other people, but with MYSELF.

Life isn't what you see. It's what you feel, think, know......it's faith, love, fear, hope, wonder, appreciation, perception, compassion, perserverance, curiosity........add yours.......

Phenomenal.

Who, in your life, expects you to be somebody?

From Brandi Carlile:
All of these lines across my face
Tell you the story of who I am
So many stories of where I've been
And how I got to where I am
But these stories don't mean anything
When you've got no one to tell them to

The book Vital Friends asks who, in your life, expects you to be somebody?

What are the vital relationships that keep you "tethered" (my word) to the world, that keep you connected & engaged because they have expectations of you? What relationships keep you motivated and give your life context? Without them we wouldn't contribute to the world in the same way - we'd lose meaning.

So while you're figuring out how you invest in yourself, you have to realize THAT investment doesn't happen in a vacuum. The outcome of that investment depends on your relationships with others.

Soooo, who EXPECTS you to be somebody? And what do they expect you to be? And how has it effected you?

My daughter once told me, "Mom, I want you to be happy." I want to work hard to live up to that expectation.